Who or Whom?
Who and whom are used when we talk about people. The difference is about the role of the person in the sentence.
Who = the person who does the action
Use who when the person is the doer of the action (the person who does something).
- Who called you?
= Who did the action? → Someone called you.
= Someone is the subject so we use who, not whom. - Who sent this message?
= Who did the action? → Someone sent the message. - The woman who lives next door is noisy.
= The woman does the action → she lives next door.
Whom = the person who receives the action (formal)
Use whom when the person is affected by the action (is the object of the verb, not the subject) or comes after a preposition. It is more formal and much less common in everyday speech.
- Whom did you invite?
= You invited someone (the person receives the action of invite). - To whom did you send the letter?
= You sent the letter to someone. - The person with whom I work is very friendly.
= I work with someone.
In everyday English
In normal conversation, many speakers use who instead of whom, especially when the preposition comes at the end.
- Who did you talk to? ✓ (common and okay)
- To whom did you talk? ✓ (formal, super correct)
Quick reference
- Who → the person who does the action
Who opened the door? (Somebody opened the door. = subject) - Whom → the person who receives the action (formal)
Whom did you see? (I saw him. = object)
